The world of dating can be an exciting and adventurous place. There is something seemingly magical about sharing the ins and outs of your with life with another person. Here are five type of men to avoid along the way:
This guy will seize any and every opportunity to talk about himself. If he isn’t leading the conversation, he seems uninterested. His main priority is to make others view him in a favorable light and will do so at any cost. According to this egotistical Romeo, his coworkers love him and any girl would be lucky to have him. He might even attempt to serenade you with fictional or overly exaggerated war stories to solidify his masculinity. (Ex: “Yea I almost beat him up…and his goldfish too”.) More often than not, this is a form of insecurity, and has absolutely nothing to do with you. This guy wants nothing more than for you to play along and validate his inflated sense of self. This means telling him how right he was in that situation at work or that how brave he is for stepping to that guy and his goldfish. With all of your energy invested in stroking his ego, your needs will most likely go un-met. This will eventually drain you. If you find yourself entangled in this character’s web, do yourself a favor and run!
The Revolving Door
Unlike the narcissist, the revolving door is fairly comfortable with himself. At first glance, he is the perfect gentlemen. You can’t recall any significant negative experiences with him due to his ability to keep his thoughts separate from what he shares with you. The two of you have probably known each other for quite some time but have never but never ventured into serious territory. However, the romantic chemistry between you two is obvious and you often spend a great deal of time flirting with the possibility of taking your relationship to the next level. You will hang out often for a few weeks before the phone calls on his end stop and you lose contact all together. He then finds a way to pop back into your life under the guise of being an “old friend.” The cycle then begins again. This guy is moving strictly off of ulterior motives and is only contacting you when it suits his agenda. Similar to a game of cards, he will never show you his full hand. There is no point in dealing with this guy because his lack of consistency will eventually lead you to doubt your self-worth. Simply put, people may not always tell you how they feel about you but they will always show you.
The Love Avoidant
This guy has probably been traumatized by a past experience and as a result, will damage everything he comes into contact with afterwards. Because he doesn’t often get involved in too many serious relationships, he feels as if he is doing YOU a favor. He is a poor communicator and feels that being seen with you should be enough to keep you satisfied. The Love Avoidant finds it easier to keep you in a box so that he won’t have to show vulnerability. He uses deflection to make things “your fault” because it is easier than addressing his own behavior. These are hard wired core beliefs that you shouldn’t even bother trying to change. It is virtually impossible to convince someone why you should be the one that they should change for-not to mention demeaning. Just walk away while you’re ahead.
The Wing Man
If the saying “birds of a feather flock together” rings true, you should definitely stay away from this dude. The Wing Man has a set group of friends for whom he is loyal to a fault. These friends also happen to be single and constantly ready to mingle. Some women probably feel secure in their man’s ability to set himself apart from his friends because she “trusts” him. However, never underestimate a guy’s ability to succumb to peer pressure. While the wing man might even be a great catch, when it comes down to saving face for his friends or saving his relationship with you, the odds are not in your favor. This guy often communicates with his friends on a constant basis and accompanies the boys to every party or function.
The Smooth Operator
This guy is EXTREMELY dangerous. Failure to detect these manipulative masterminds could result in an episode of Jerry Springer. (In the most extreme cases of course.) The Smooth Operator is much like the Revolving Door in that he ALWAYS possess an ulterior motive. Your interactions with him will almost always be based of his personal interests. However, this guy possess enough charm, wit, and sensual mystery to throw you off of his path for quite some time. This is a man who is not shy with the ladies and has mastered the art of impartiality. Sex with him is amazing-so good in fact that it is obvious that he does it quite often. While you will NEVER be the only woman, he is an expert at keeping your insecurities at bay. This means regular phone calls, dates, and even appearing to care about your overall wellbeing. The Smooth Operator will avoid defining your relationship because it will set up too many expectations that he may or may not live up. Instead, he is very vague in all of his outwardly expectations. He is the “let’s go with the flow,” or “let’s see how everything pans out,” type of guy. You will be often be confused and can easily mistake the relationship for “friends with benefits.” What you won’t realize about this man until it’s too late is that his loyalty will always be to himself. Dealing with this dude is a one way ticket to nowhere.
It is critical to weed out these bad apples so that they won’t contaminate your overall dating experience. Often times, many of us only see what we wish to see. There will always be warning signs before every catastrophic situation in life, it’s just up to us to take heed. After all, where there is smoke, there’s fire.